Poor and/or unaesthetic art music memes for placeholder teens

As we’ve mentioned before, classical music internet humor is undergoing a bit of a renaissance, and Poor and/or unaesthetic art music memes for placeholder teens is one of the newer and funnier entries. “If Einaudi wrote Nixon in China,” the caption reads. We’re always up for an Einaudi dis.

Sad Classical Music

On first blush, this could also be the title of a classical music meme/Tumblr page. Instead it’s a streaming website that “tries to focus on works from the last several decades.” The automatic association between new music and sad music is pretty telling and, well, sad.

Cello Ninja

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTNNwvdhOzu/?taken-by=cello.ninja&hl=de

Speaking of sad things, this cellist’s bio reads “Happiness and music are the same thing, right? 🎼😄” If the music is Popper, we doubt it.

Stephanie Stamopoulos

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTOgfqUhg3u/?tagged=classicalmusician&hl=de

Musicians, we’re begging you: TAKE A BREAK!

Cameron Carpenter

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTRLrVQAeI5/?taken-by=cameronorganist&hl=de

You’re not going to convince us that Carpenter just happened to have this outfit on when he came across this car. Instagram makes everything look effortless, but a shopping trip into town and a return to the spot to take this photo definitely happened.

Teodor Currentzis

In a different sort of sexy, Teodor Currentzis goes for the “Eyes Wide Shut” aesthetic here. (Substitute the leather jacket for the tuxedo.)

Andreas Ottensamer I

If Fluxus was still a thing it would be fun to turn this into a piece. “Drive down a street for six seconds with swing clarinet music playing. Then film yourself in sunglasses for three seconds. End.”

Andreas Ottensamer II

Ottensammer also scored a goal in the Berlin Philharmonic’s 4:2 win over its youth orchestra. Considering the grueling auditions these kids have coming up in their lives—wouldn’t it have been nicer to let them win?

Steinway

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTKLQvrDjlT/?taken-by=steinwayandsons&hl=de

This “Pictures at an Exhibition”-themed piano is not a good idea.

And we’re not the only ones who think so.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BTJcaHhDeOU/?taken-by=apapianists&hl=de

It does make sounds, though. ¶